#PrayForIbu

In the last two months, I am highly affected with deaths. Life is so fragile, it's like walking on eggshells. One minute you're prancing around with your fancy dress and top notch gadgets, the next thing you know you're six feet under.

"Naemah Mokhtar: (31 Mac 2014, 01:34) Let's take a moment of silent dan sedekahkan ummul kitab alfatihah buat arwah ibu izzati dan semoga Dia beri izzati kekuatan yg berterusan utk selesaikan urusan ini. Alfatihah. 

A dear dear friend of mine, Nurul Izzati Zainuddin lost her Ibu. I said hi to Ibu a couple of times before. And to receive such news was devastating. Be at peace, Puan Nor Hayati Hashim.

Be it a self reminder. Izrail is always whispering to you, "Soon.." Alfatihah to Ibu, and to every living and dead person, which I think the living needs it the most.

The fault, dear Brutus.

*tiup habuk*

Oh bertahun (setahun) tinggalkan wadah mengarut ini, kini telah kembali! 

So, I was just reading an anthology from Buku Hitam Press titled Maut Sebelum Ajal and was kind of inspired to start writing again. I read a lot recently, an escapism from the not my cuppa tea reality. 

This first two months of 2014 is a good book months for me:

John Green - Looking For Alaska, The Fault In Our Stars, Paper Towns

Adibah Amin - This End of the Rainbow

Zaib Ibrahim - Ampun Tuanku

Farish A Noor - What Your Teacher Didn't Tell You

Paulo Coelho - Manuscript Found In Accra, Aleph, The Alchemist, The Zahir

All of the listed books are amazing, and the one I am particularly interested to write is The Fault In Our Stars, by John Green. I am not going to make a book review, saya tiada tauliah JAKIM untuk berbuat demikian. But! I want to share a quote from the book which provoke my faculty of thought.

The fault, dear Brutus is not in our stars / But in ourselves, we are underlings.

This was inspired by William Shakespeare's Julius Ceasar, which was used in TFIOS by John Green. A character in the novel, Peter Van Houten said in a letter to Augustus Waters (a major heart throb by the way, but not so by the way they portray him in the film version):

Were she better, or you sicker, then the stars would not be so terribly crossed, but it is the nature of stars to cross, and never was Shakespeare more wrong than when he had Cassius note, ‘The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars/But in ourselves

Peter was saying that the fault is in the nature of things. Not in how you do them, or even just in yourself generally. This becomes important because it was fate's fault when Augustus died, not Gus' fault. So therefore, the Fault is In Our Stars, and we can do nothing about it. We don't have a choice in the matter.

Or readers can look at it this way: All of us are made of stardust. Well maybe we can be deemed as stars on Earth. And the other people closest to us can be seen as our stars. The fault in them is that they burn out (MATI). Some before others, but everyone will eventually be subject to the same fate. It's a fault that we all possess and cannot stop. 

Although I know what the book says might not fully support my view, it's still the way I see it. I didn't think about the title all too much. But when I did, what I said above is what came to mind.  

The Holy and The Radiant

17th January 2013 - 29th January 2013.

Two most exquisite weeks of my life. Let me share my experience being in The Holy Land, The Blessed Land, The Land of Peace; Makkah al-Mukarramah & Madinah al-Munawwarah.

About a month before, I was nervous and excited. Finally, it was our time to be the guest of The Lord. Praises only to Him for giving us the chance.

17th January 2013.

Skipping the en route, straight to the story. We did our first umrah as soon as we reached Makkah from Jeddah. Despite being too tired as the whole journey (KL - Jeddah - Makkah) took about 12 hours, the magnificent Masjidil Haram did not cease to amaze me.

The bright lights, the tall minarets, the huge entrance door, white marble tiles. It is as if I am walking into a great castle through door #1. My heart was racing, blood was pumping to a velocity that challenged the national speed limit. I was about to set foot in Masjidil Haram!

'Bismillah. Allahumma antas salam wa minkas salam wa ilaika ya'udus salam. Fahaiyina rabbana bis salam wa adkhilna jannata daras salam. Tabarakta rabbana wa taalaita yaa zal jalali wal ikram. Allahummaftahli abwa barahmatik. Bismillahi walhamdulillahi wassolatu wassalamu 'ala Rasulillah SAW.'

And there I was. I am in Masjidil Haram. People are all over in this masjid and it was 0300! I went over to the rows of ZamZam barrels, drank a cup, stood facing Kaabah and recited a piece of doa from the manual. But wait a minute, something is not right. Something is missing. I did not feel a thing.

This is quite odd. I was expecting tears shedding as to the longing of Baitullah has finally been fulfilled, the yearning to be in Al-Haram has finally accomplished. But, no. I did not felt a speck of emotion. I was neutral. I WAS NUMB. Never mind, I tell myself. Maybe I am worn out by the journey. Take your time.

So I went to the green light perpendicular to Hajarul Aswad, which is the starting point of tawaf, lead by our Mutawwif and followed by Abah, Mama, Nadia and Anyssa. Made my niat, started my counter-clockwise move around Kaabah seven times while reciting bits and pieces of doa from the manual. Mama bought the manual that have a strand of rope tied to the book so we could hang it over our necks. 

During the seven rounds, I kept thinking. Why did I not felt anything? Not a cry, nor a single sob. Is there something wrong with me? I think it's normal kot, after all Kaabah is just another building. No no no, this can't be. Where have all my emotions went? And on and on with self conflicting monologue. After tawaf, went to the green light area and prayed Solat Sunat Tawaf.

BAMM! As soon as I raised my hands for takbir, emotions kick in. Maximum overdrive. I wept and sobbed throughout the whole 2 rakaat solat. And it felt amazing. I was overwhelmed, content, fearful, anxious and more mixed feelings. In that moment, in the midst of hundreds and thousands of humans, I felt I was the only one there. The calm and serenity came like no other. Only me, Kaabah and Him. I was amazing!

We continued the umrah by doing Saie and I'm telling you, it was not easy going seven rounds around Kaabah and another seven rounds walking from Safa to Marwah. At least for first timers. I wonder how people back in the days do it? Now the walkways are equipped with air conditioner, cool tiles and other top notch facilities. And I wonder, how did Opah had the energy to do all these in Ramadhan? Fuhh, salute to Opah.

The best thing about being in Makkah was, for the first few days I did not think of anything. I had deep sleeps without dreams. I woke up refreshed and eager to go to Masjidil Haram. Subhanallah, it was absolutely a wonderful experience.

I made some friends but the most dear to me is my little friend, Megat Haffique Isqandar. He's 9 years old and he just recovered from Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) but what an energetic little guy. He's into Bruce Lee and currently enroll in a MMA Academy somewhere in KL. A little tiger, I can say.

Everyone came with different stories, but hoped for the same thing.

To go back to our respective hometowns, rejuvenate, refreshed and being a new person.

Malu

Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world - (FRANK Warren)

"Malu berkongsi masa lalu?” Ya.

Kerana dosa adalah keaiban yang seharusnya membuat kita sedar akan kelemahan dan kekurangan. Membuat kita merasa malu dan kerdil dihadapan Tuhan. Membuat kita merasa syukur dan aman atas keampunan. Bukan untuk membuat kita malu dan hina dipandangan manusia. Mungkin kerana itulah dosa dan keaiban itu lebih baik untuk disimpan, menjadi rahsia bersama Tuhan .


Dan terkadang, tanpa kita mohon pun,
DIA menutup keaiban kita.

Sehingga manusia melihat kebaikan demi kebaikan kita,
pujian dan pandangan yang membuat kita malu sendiri.

Maka bagaimana masih sanggup kita berprasangka,
bahawa DIA tidak menyayangi dan peduli ?

Rahmat dan Kasih Sayang-NYA itu terkadang tidak tersembunyi,
cuma kita yang tidak menyedari.

                          MALULAH PADA DIRI. BUKANKAH YANG BUTA ITU BUKAN MATA, TAPI HATI?

Journey

17 January 2013 - 29 January 2013

A journey in quest for the ultimate orgasm; spiritual orgasm. I know today I am to attached to the world. I must go now, farewell good people of Galaksi Bima Sakti. May His mercy is upon us all.

Here I come at Thy service, my Lord. Here I come..

A - Z of 2012

This post is inspired by @Plumandpeach's #AtoZ2012 #2012InReview

A - Abah

This year I learned a lot about Abah. How sensitive he is, how insensitive he is, his strong and soft points. Being the only son, I look up to him. He's an idol of which his teachings and his understanding shapes me and I'd like to mould my children like he did to us. I love you, Abah.

B - B8.16.11

A unit of confined space which Aiman, Zul, Bogel, Stephen the Raju and I share our life as mahasiswa together. A magnificent apartment unit in a shitty apartment lot. This is where we start building our brotherhood, in a serene chamber which we call home with high speed internet and pillow talks; I could not wish it to be any perfect than this.

C - Classes
HECTIC year full of classes. The first 3 months I struggled with Business Maths and Principle of Finance while juggling between tutoring and co-curricular activities. I thought I was free from the suffocation of numbers and figure but NOOOOOOO. The last 3 months of 2012, I met with Business Statistics and Financial Management. Final examination is still on, I hope it turns out well. *sobb*

D - Dovahkiin

The cat that tried to flew from a high rise building but landed on his back. That's Dovahkiin - The dragon born; a name in which he stands for (NOT). Named after the main character of Skyrim as Aiman was obsessed with the game when Dovahkiin came into our lives. He's a black tom cat, with a pair of brown eyes and a little fracture in his left iris. He came and proved us we are not fit to have a cat and one day, he left us. Still waiting for him to come back home. Dovahkiin, we missed you.

E - Emotion

Emotions flair up in 2012. Mixed feelings of anger, depression, joyous and sorrow. Not much negativity this year, and am quite happy for that.

F - Family KEMSIS

KEMSIS, the greatest non blood related family I have ever had. The sole purpose of me coming to campus everyday because of KEMSIS. I know it supposed to be about studying and what not, but KEMSIS give me that sense of belonging when I needed the most. It's not just a club, it's a family. It's home.

G - Gardenia's Butterscotch
I eat more of this bread this year since it came into market 2 years ago, and I found someone who is into it as well! A classmate of mine, never saw him before the briefing for Telok Batik and was quite close during the retreat.

H - Hijrah

'To hijrah is easy, to istiqamah is hard'. Still trying to hijrah myself, struggling everyday. Lord, have mercy. Allahumma yassir wa la tu'assir, rabbi tammim bi khair.

I - Ica

A school girl. Took PMR this year and did great. Cried when Zul, Aiman and me sang her 'Happy Birthday' over the phone. My little sister likes to be alone, she may seemed lonely but inside of her head lies dastardly plots to take over the world by storm while still can layan Youtube.com in her free times.

J - Jubah

2012 is a good jubah year for me. Had five hand made by the finest tailors of Ipoh (Mak and Umi), another two bought by Opah in Makkah during her umrah with Pak Teh and Mak Teh, and another one is a gift from Muhammad El Rashid, a friend from Sudan. We call him Mumu for short.

K - KOTAK BODOH

This particular phrase still haunts me. I could be mentally traumatised if it had not been for the trip to Telok Batik the next day. Will not be telling the story but it is one of the most powerful, heart breaking and mental injury I have ever experienced since matriculation.

L - Lost
Lost; my spirit, my body and my mind. Still figuring out my way back.

M - Mama & Mak

My two guardian angels, descends from the Heavens above guiding me in the path of purity and righteousness with their own unique set of ways. Mama with her soothing voice and city charms, while Mak with her kampong style of doing things. I had the best from both worlds. They are the strongest women, with an iron heart and bones of steel.  I love you two more than anyone ever will.

N - Nadia

My first little sister made staggering changes in 2012, and I am for one very proud and happy with it. She showed effort to be close to Islam. I always knew she is inclined to the Islamic ways. I pray for this change to stay until forever. Go Nadia, go!

O - Opah
During the course of most of my holidays this year, I spent time in Taiping caring for Opah as she was not well after her umrah. She had high fever right after she came back from Makkah, had a very mild stroke and she fell from the bed as she was going to the toilet in the middle of the night. The experience of taking care a sick elderly person thought me to be very tolerant and patient. And I got to know some of the family secrets as Opah tends to have tongue slips right before she goes to sleep. Hehe don't worry Opah, I'll keep it a secret forever.

P - Payung & Pecel

Ramadhan of 2012, and most of the final months of 2012 I spent most of the time after class in payung and pecel with the boys. Good times, good times.

Q - Queer
2012 showed me true colours of some of my friends, coming out of the closet for good. I am not exactly proud of their acts but they have quite interesting lives and the stories they share are magnificent. Hoping you guys don't go astray too far, come back as soon as possible guys.

R - Rapat Setia Baru
My hometown. Rarely have the time to enjoy my holidays here. But the boys really love it, Ipoh to be exact. The food, the ambiance, the people. Everything is perfect.

S - Solihin, As
How I missed the children. As Solihin, we'll be back with surprises! Insyallah.

T - Twitter

@danieleskay. Shameless self promote. LOL

U - UNIRAZAK / UMTECH / UNITAR
Okay, maybe this needs a little bit of explanation. I am a student of UNIRAZAK, PINTAR Campus. In early 2012, PINTAR Campus was sold of and the administration decided they would name it UMTECH. In mid 2012, once again UMTECH was bought but this time by Equinas and yet the name changes once more to UNITAR. Despite all this, I am still a UNIRAZAK student in UNITAR campus. But to spare me the trouble of explaining to people, I just tell them I am in UNITAR.

V - Voyages 
Trips made by car, bicycle, foot and train. First timers all the way. First night bed train ride to Butterworth, first time I cycled from Sunway to Shah Alam which took me about 4 hours of pain and excruciating journey. I had sore bottoms for two weeks.

W - Wonder
The mind wonders far and abroad with books, the body wonders within financial capacity and the soul wonders beyond the astral realm. Quite a journey, I must say. 2013, I would wonder further!

X - 10.
It's a roman numeral for the number 10. 10 is a special number this year. 10 times I fell, literally and so-to-speak. 10 times we went out for good food with good people. 10 times I went back to Ipoh. Yup, 10 is a good number for 2012.

Y - Y Generation.

Mashallah, this was truly an insight for me. I stumbled upon this phrase a couple of times through my readings but never I thought I would be talking about it in national television. After the invitation I received from UNITAR and RTM, I did some research and to my amazement I was dumbfounded by it. Not because of the explanation of the phrase, but the depths of my knowledge of it. Truly, He is all knowing and my knowledge is just an electron in the vast ocean.

Z - Zul.
I met a lot of Zuls this year. Apart from my housemate, there's Abang Zul UTP from Kelantan. I met him during our rendezvous in Tesco KB. Zulfahmi of UPM, Babal's room mate. Dzulfazlie of JAIS, who showed me you can be anything you want as long as you believe in yourself.

With that, ends my A - Z of 2012. Insyallah, 2013 will be a better year for everyone. Especially for them refugees. Our prayers are with you guys! 

Quote 1

I like this quote:

When you wish upon a star, you are actually a few million years late. 

The star is dead, just like your dreams.

Straight to the point. 

Right in the childhood fantasy.

Anak anak.

Rumah Anak Anak Yatim dan Asnaf As - Solihin, Kanchong Darat, Banting.

Rumah ini terletak di Lot 839, Jalan Aman, Kanchong Darat, 42700 Banting, Kuala Langat. Dikelolai oleh Encik Molyana (Abi) bersama keluarganya.

Namanya Haiqal, umur 7 tahun. Seorang yang hyperactive dan dipanggil OKU (Orang Kuat Usaha) oleh anak anak yang lain kerana dia bersekolah pendidikan khas. Buasnya si Haiqal, masyallah. Hanya Abi sahaja mampu mengawal dia dengan rotan, tetapi yang peliknya dia sangat selesa dengan Aiman dan Aiman senang sahaja mengawalnya.

Aiman Agoes yang berasal dari Sabah. Bukan penghuni rumah ini.

Sesi mengemas rumah dan kawasan sekitar. Saya dan Aiman ditugaskan mengawal keadaan di dalam bilik air. Pada mulanya terkawal dan masing masing seronok bermain air dan sabun tetapi bila datangnya Haiqal, aduhai. Yang bagusnya si Haiqal ini, walaupun dia buas tetapi dia rajin. Apabila dia faham arahan, dia akan buat bersungguh sehingga selesai.

Dan saya perkenalkan, buah hati saya di sana: DANIEL! Darjah satu tetapi kecil sahaja saiznya. Mempertimbangkan untuk dijadikan anak angkat :3

Kami juga membantu menyiapkan kerja sekolah. Nampak anak anak ini berminat untuk belajar cuma tidak ada sesiapa yang ada masa untuk menolong anak anak ini dengan kerja sekolah masing masing. Saya tercengang bila ada yang minta untuk tolong dengan kerja sekolah bahasa Arab, tapi untuk tidak menghampakan harapan saya tolong sedaya upaya. Nasib baik bahasa Arab darjah satu! Ingat lagilah saki baki bahasa Arab yang mudah.

Berbuka puasa dengan juadah yang disediakan dan juadah hasil belian di bazar Ramadhan. Paling menarik di rumah anak anak ini ialah hidangan makanan. Makan dalam talam, I tell you!

Lagu dendangan malam perpisahan daripada anak anak - Rasulullah, Semangat Perjuangan, Anak Soleh dan Qasidah. Daripada kami - Suasana Hari Raya dan Kau Ilhamku. 

Note

भगवान का नाम दयालु

A quick note for myself.
As a fan of languages, these are the languages I should master by the age of 30 (insyallah):

- Semitic languages
- Hindi 
- Tamil
- French
- Javaness

Untold tales.

Listening to tales from Opah gives me a mashed up feelings of happiness, sad, enlightenment and other side emotions as well. Since she's not well after the mild stroke, her speech was impaired and she's not strong as she used to be.

So this semester break I'm here with her, keeping an eye on her just in case Bibik needs any help. So last night during dinner, we had Maggi Kari because Opah was longing for it. She said:

'Opah ni teringin nak makan Maggi. Makan nasik dah muak. Bibik! Masakkan Maggi, kita semua makan Maggi malam ni. Tapi, diam diam tau. Jangan bagitau mama. Nanti mama marah Opah.'

We laughed, then I assist her to the kitchen. During our secret dinner, she starts telling stories how she met with Atok in the 50's. Opah is telling her version of 'How I Met Your Atok' in between her mouthful.

She met with Atok via a friend. Atok, from Sungai Besar Selangor, was in MCKK, Perak and Opah, Pasir Putih Ipoh origin, was in a mengaji school in Ipoh. So the friend approaches Opah telling her that someone wants to get to know her, and she wasn't that reluctant to say no. From there on, they sent letters with photos of each other, with good news and bad news, with a date to meet and so forth. Opah told me, she only met with Atok about 3 times because Kuala Kangsar and Ipoh back then was quite far by bus, and Atok wasn't from a rich background. 

The first time she laid her eyes on Atok, butterflies were all over her stomach. She felt queasy and anxious. It's no surprise, because Atok was heavenly handsome. With the MCKK uniform, white shirt and trousers and shining black shoe and hair was combed to the side with a curl in front, those were the heart-throb fashion back in the days. 

She continued her stories from when Atok went to ask for her hand, their first house, the children, the ups and downs of their life, and her last moments with Atok before he died of stroke. 

'Masa Atok meninggal, Opah langsung tak nangis. Dari hospital, kat rumah masa ada jenazah, sampailah kebumi. Opah tak rasa apa apa. (pause) Tapi bila malam tu tidor Opah nangis sampai Subuh sebab baru Opah rasa sunyi sangat malam tu tak ada Atok..'

By the time she finished her stories, clear tears shed from her eyes. I heard she murmured silently 'Opah rindu betul Atok, insyallah nanti jumpa.' and Maghrib was called upon. She got up, went to her bedroom and I stayed there in the kitchen. It made me realise, she's strong on the outside but on the inside she is very fragile.

Why?

ในชื่อของพระเจ้าพระผู้ทรงกรุณาปรานี

Everyone has their own personal style of garment in regards when it is time to 'hit the sack'. Some people are comfortable in satin pajamas, others like to have only baggy and loose shorts on while others prefer to be indecisive and indifferent on the matter. For me, I prefer myself to put on a nice cotton t-shirt and a sarong.

Why sarong? 

Whaa, lelaki Melayu terakhir! 

You're weird. 

Tak takut ke terselak nampak ****?

Among other popular reactions. I recently asked myself the same question, why? After hours of intense deep reflection, I obtained some acceptable answers to the rhetorical questions.

One: As a Melayu by heart, our family are proud of the customs. Abah used to wear sarong whenever he's at home, but not anymore. He's been westernised and prefer shorts instead. But back in kampong, it is a familiar view to see all the uncles and abahs wearing sarong. Maybe I picked it up from there. The funny thing is, among all the cousins I am prominently seen in a sarong.

Two: I don't like it when my *youknowwhat* can't move freely as it pleases, or as motion wants it to move about. Sarong has unlimited (so to speak) space for it to move and for me to be comfortable as well. Plus, it reduces the heat trapped inside. Higher chances for me to have healthy babies! *wink.

Three: In any cases, I would option for a squatting toilet rather than a sitting one. It's just more comfortable. So in the case of sarong vs. pantaloons, sarong can easily be lifted up once the call of nature kicks in and I am one of those men with bowels eagerly to release the stress whereas with pantaloons, I have to take it off and hang it somewhere in the toilet. That takes time and I don't have time for all the little shenanigans. Verdict: sarong wins!

Inevitably, sarong RuLeZZz!

Kita.

Kita kata “astaghfirullah” tapi hati masih gemar akan maksiat.
Kita kata “wa atubu ilaih” tapi jasad masih melakukan dosa sama.
Kita kata “wa nadimna ya Allah” tapi kesilapan lalu masih kita ulangi.

Kita kata “subhanallah” tapi kita tidak mampu menghayatinya.
Kita kata “alhamdulillah” tapi kita masih tidak bersyukur dengan kurniaanNya.
Kita kata “Allahuakbar” tapi cinta kita lebih kepada dunia.

Kita kata “ma fi qalbi ghairullah” tapi masih ada ruang di hati kita untuk insan yang tidak halal.
Kita kata “aku tak layak ke syurga, tapi aku tak sanggup ke nerakaMu” namun kita hidup di dunia seakan-akan kuat untuk rasa pedih api neraka.

Kita kata kita ingin mendekatiNya,
Namun amal kita tak seiring dengan kata-kata kita.

Saya malu dengan sepasang mata kurniaanMu ini,
Kerana air mata yang mengalir seakan-akan sia-sia.
Saya malu dengan tangan yang sudah lelah mengelap air mata,
Kerana tingkah laku pemiliknya ini tidak menggambarkan saya kesal.
Bahkan saya malu dengan sang burung yang berkicau,
Kerana saya insan yang dinodai dosa..
Sedang sang burung tidak disentuh walau sekelumit dosa.


- Anonnymous, of Tumblr.

Hot topic around election.

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Caution: This entry contains two parts; (a) and (b). Part (a) comprises of emotions and bias point of view whereas (b) will include nearly fair arguments on the topic discussed.

Topic: Perbadanan Tabung Pendidikan Tinggi Nasional (PTPTN).

The Pakatan promises if they conquer Putrajaya this coming election, PTPTN will be abolished and free tertiary education for all. They have come up with a plan for all the debt to be paid in installment for a number of years. The Kerajaan on the other hand opposed this idea saying it would lead Malaysia to bankruptcy, the rakyat's tax would rise and quality education would seize to existence. Those are the two puppeteer statements on the matter.

Part (a).

Okay here is the thing. All the hullabaloo of this issue, makes me furious for a number of reasons that seems rational to me. I don't know about you guys, but this is my one cent of thought. Foot note: My arguments are free from any partisanship (insyallah).

This free education thing is my cup of tea, in fact, it is everyone's favourite drink. But bear with the fact that quality comes with a hefty price. We are using an education system that comprises services from dedicated executives and lecturers and paying a sum of money for this noble services are incomparable with the knowledge we receive, that lifts us from our jahiliyyah terms and provide enlightenment for our ignorance.

Another thing - PTPTN is a choice, not compulsory. We live in a 'partially' free country, having the freedom to prefer x from y. First, let us define what is loan. Loan /lōn/ - A thing that is borrowed, esp. a sum of money that is expected to be paid back with interest. If you feel burden by the amount you have to pay in the future, you can opt for other financial aids agencies (JPA, MARA, other Yayasans), or to ease the matter, don't apply for any loans at all.

Plus, I am voicing out the minority voice of IPTS student. We are the creditors of PTPTN from IPTS, depend fully on their generousity. Our tuition, semester and exam fees are on our own expenses - regardless our financial background. Thus, PTPTN came to our aid. Our knight in shining armour! In the same aspect, IPTS depends on the mahasiswa's fees to upkeep the quality education and their infrastructures. It is easy for them who is subsidies and supported to say this and that. But to us, without PTPTN we can't further our studies which the fees could reach as high as RM70,000. Not everyone has the opportunity to secure a place in IPTA.

Besides, the money we borrow from PTPTN does not only pays for our education, it also gives us tiny taste of earthly pleasures; paying for the utilities, buying stuffs for 'educational' purposes and some pampering after a semester tiring ourselves. But most of us realise, we do not OWN the money, we OWE them.

In a nutshell (eceh), I am opposing the idea of abolishing PTPTN IF there are no new ideas or mechanism in replacing PTPTN as mahasiswa's financial helper.

Part (b).

There are two different agendas in this topic;

1. Abolishing PTPTN.

2. Giving free tertiary education.

Firstly, abolishing PTPTN means to abolish the establishment and to abrogate all the debts but tertiary education still have to be paid by mahasiswa, heedless of IPTA or IPTS. Secondly, the free tertiary education - meaning anyone eligible from all walks of life can enroll into a program - free of charge.

These two agendas must be execute together, no PTPTN without free education gives the rakyat more weight while it does the same if the situation remains as it is now. Some questions should be asked before implementing such shift, for instance; Will the government give financial support to ALL 20 IPTAs and ALL 462 IPTSes (academies, institutes, colleges, university colleges, universities - up to April 2012)? If so, in what sector should the government impose financial cuts to cover the education expenses? If no financial cuts are imposed on any sector, does the government has what it takes to support all IPTs? And many more questions to be asked.

To my fellow mahasiswas, a popular quote from V for Vendetta goes like this - 'Strength Through Unity, Unity Through Faith'. Some of us searched for the strength in numbers, and with the level of strength they stood up for the things they thought was right for them. As a man of collectivism, I understand the movement but I would be more understanding to their cries and pleas SUPPOSING they know what is good for every present and future mahasiswa of Malaysia - not only to the current debtors of PTPTN.

A tip for the future leaders, stop being hooligans and start acting like mahasiswas - educated and civilised. Know what's good aggregated, if it is, have a strong base on your arguments and PROVIDE ALTERNATIVES. Citing Aiman Azlan's tweet '... there is a fine line between a reason and an excuse'. This is my opinion, the ilham comes from Rabbul 'Alim, the bad also comes from Him added with my own shortcomings. Wallahualam.